Friday, December 11, 2009


Had a bit of a binge yesterday.


1 salad
1 bowl of soup
8 chips with salsa
3 pickles
4 cookies

Total: 984


I got to 120 yesterday...

Before I stuffed my face.

I weighed myself this morning...


I'm starving until I reach 120 again.

Last time, it took 4 days. But last time, I started at 136.

So, I'm hoping that it'll all be gone by sunday.

If I decide to eat on monday... I WILL stay under 100 calories.

No matter how healthy it is, what the calorie count is, It won't pass my lips until my goal is reached.


Yesterday, my cousin asked me to hold her baby boy. I did. It was fine at first, until I started blacking out. I sat down and realized that I hadn't eaten in 4 days. It probably wasn't a good idea to twirl around in circles, holding a baby.

The dizzy spells are getting worse.

I can't stand up (no matter how careful, or how slowly) without getting tunnel vision and seeing those weird little spots.

Most of the time... I just sit back down, breath, and try again.

I feel so weak, and yet I feel so strong.


My current goal is 120.

My goal when I reach that is to eat 300 calories...

And then starve until I reach 115.

My ultimate goal is 105.

It seems so far away, and yet...

It's within reach.

And that's my motivation.


Good luck to all of you beautiful girls.



1 comment:

  1. Stay strong... think how good it feels when you see your weight drop...
    keep us all posted!