I havn't eaten a single thing since saturday night.
I've pretty much been living off of lemon water, grape/peach juice, and coffee with skim milk n sweet n low for the past 4 days.
I don't plan to eat until I reach 120.
Then I'm going to have a 300 cal day.
And then I'm starting a new fast until I reach 115.
I had to start going to therapy again.
My mom noticed I'd been restricting again and set me up an appt.
I thought that I had been doing a fairly good job at keeping it a secret.
Well, anyways... She made me make her a "deal". She says I can't weigh myself. And I have to eat at least 3 small meals a day. Until my next apt with her. In two weeks. :/ Fuuuck that. I'll end up just telling her I did eat n blahblahblah.
It was supposed to start yesterday. But. I'm not screwing up my fast. I have a plan. I want to be thin.
I have to start lying to N about all this now. I used to tell him about it, but it'd be better for him if he just didn't know I think.
I told him that I had eaten 2 times already before I came to get him yesterday.
I'm feeling really weak today.
I'm also feeling really strong today.