Welp, I managed to resist food all day. Then my sister dropped me and my bf off at the mall. fuck. fuck the mall. fuck food. I had Imperial. I can't ever seem to resist that disgusting fake chinese crap. And then. We went to Candiopolis. Ugh. I hate being a candy fanatic.
Maybe I can forgive myself. Just this one time. I'll try not to stay stuck on this. Move on. Go for another day. I guess that's really all I can do.
I need laxatives. Need to clean myself out. Need to feel empty again.
How can I feel so strong one moment, and the next I'm stuffing my face again? No wonder I don't see any change. It's probably because there isn't any. Fasting for two days and then binging the next isn't going to make anyone lose weight.
I'm feeling kind of depressed again lately. I don't really want to be around anyone. Just want to sit in my room alone with my thoughts. It's just one of those days.
I'm leaving today for Coldwater with da bf. 2 1/2 hour car ride. Alone with N and our thoughts. Maybe I'll get some time to myself when we get there. But, that's kind of selfish. I guess I'll just suck it up.
We won't get back until Sunday, so I probably won't be posting until then. Or at least I highly doubt it.
Does anyone want to fast with me when I get back?
Anybody else feel like starving until you see stars?
I'm to that point. But it'll have to wait until after thanksgiving break. :/
But good luck to all of you.